«Do I sound too gay?»
“What if they think my name is ghetto?”
«They’re going to think I’m some kind of Jesus freak.»
Fear of negative evaluations or judgments from others is a central characteristic of social anxiety. However, as illustrated in the quotes above, for people with certain social identities, these fears can often be specifically related to concerns about confirming stereotypes related to the social groups to which they belong.
Stereotypes are oversimplified generalizations about groups or categories of people. In this blog article, you will learn more about the connection between stereotypes and social anxiety, as well as ways to manage social anxiety that occurs as a result of stereotyping.
Within psychology, stereotype confirmation concern is a term used to describe the persistent concerns people have about appearing to validate negative stereotypes about the social groups to which they belong. While most research has focused on people with marginalized racial identities, concerns about stereotype confirmation can affect anyone who experiences prejudice or discrimination based on some aspect of their social identity. This includes disability, gender, sexual identity, socioeconomic and religious identity, to name a few.
How confirming stereotypes triggers social anxiety
One of the main assumptions people with social anxiety believe is that other people are inherently critical. Because of this assumption, people with social anxiety also believe that the likelihood of others judging them negatively is very high.
When people have concerns about stereotype confirmation, they more specifically believe that others’ judgments will be based on acting in ways that appear to confirm stereotypical images of people who belong to their social group. Going back to the quotes at the beginning of this article, examples of this might include a gay athlete worried about being perceived as weak or too feminine because of the sound of his voice; a black woman who worries about being seen as lacking standards or ability when meeting new colleagues at work because of her name; or a Christian who worries about being perceived as strange when he prays over his food in front of his friends.
Fears such as those presented in the examples above suggest that, for some individuals, social anxiety may be more activated in mixed social situations, especially situations in which the individual is often underrepresented. Imagine the following scenario:
Keshia, an African American woman, is one of three finalists for a branch manager position at a large banking institution. As part of the selection process, each finalist must make a presentation that includes a description of their approach to disciplining employees. While Keshia was generally well-liked by her colleagues when she was initially employed, she has encountered constant resistance since receiving additional leadership responsibilities at the branch.
Keshia believes this resistance is due to stereotypes that black women are tough and difficult to deal with. During his presentation he notices that no one smiles. She worries that the all-white branch manager search committee will also perceive her as difficult and tough, thinking, “They probably see me as just another angry black woman.” Keshia feels sick to her stomach and can’t maintain eye contact for most of the performance.
How to deal with concerns about confirming stereotypes
Like Keshia, you may find yourself in situations where you are concerned about acting in ways that confirm negative stereotypes about one of your social groups. Here are some strategies you can use to help you deal with these fears:
Exposure therapy and experiments.
Exposure therapy refers to interventions that help people take small, incremental steps toward engaging in feared situations. A benefit of these exercises is that they can increase your confidence in your ability to cope with threatening outcomes and reduce your feelings of uncertainty in social situations. Generally, there are two types of exposure interventions: imaginal exposure and in vivo exposure. Imaginary exposure involves imagining yourself in a feared situation while implementing various coping and relaxation strategies with the goal of feeling less distressed over time. Keshia, for example, may have imagined herself in work and social situations in which she is the only African American woman interacting with people of different racial groups.
In vivo exposure, on the other hand, involves direct involvement in a feared situation. Research shows that this type of exposure, when experimental in nature, is generally more effective in treating social anxiety, especially when individuals experience an element of shame. This is because it allows you to directly test the beliefs that cause you anxiety. For Keshia, some examples of in vivo exposure may include attending predominantly white social or networking events.
Whether it is imaginal or in vivo exposure, it is important to keep in mind that sometimes people respond to others based on stereotypes. Therefore, any exposure exercise you complete should include messages that affirm your identity and attribute your anxiety to your lived experience as a member of your social group (rather than to a deficit within yourself).
Cognitive restructuring
Once you have learned to tolerate and manage the distress you may experience when faced with anxiety-provoking social situations, it may be helpful to examine the automatic thoughts and core beliefs that contribute to your anxiety. Automatic thoughts refer to the words, images or memories that pass through your mind in everyday situations. For example, Keshia’s automatic thought in the scenario presented above was, «They probably see me as an angrier black woman.» Core beliefs are the ways we think about ourselves, as well as the ways we think about how other people perceive us. According to her automatic thinking, Keshia’s core belief may have been, «I don’t fit in.»
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of treatment that is effective in helping us deal with automatic thoughts and unhelpful core beliefs. In CBT, the main goal is to learn to identify the distorted and self-defeating thoughts and beliefs that lead to social anxiety, as well as to evaluate and modify these thoughts and beliefs. This is based on the idea that our thoughts, rather than the situations we face, are the main source of our emotions. If you have severe social anxiety, you should seek help from a trained CBT therapist who specializes in social anxiety. If you are interested in learning more about the types of interventions used by CBT therapists, you may be interested in watching some of the free videos available. here on the National Social Anxiety Center (NSAC) website.
Self-pity
Because the content of stereotypes can be deeply painful, self-compassion is another tool that may be useful in managing social anxiety as a result of worries about stereotype confirmation. Self-compassion involves non-judgment, loving, being kind, accepting and caring for yourself. There are many ways to practice self-compassion. One way to practice self-compassion is through meditation. A self-compassion meditation, like a loving-kindness meditation, can teach you ways of thinking and relating to yourself that challenge negative perceptions based on stereotypes.
Role-playing is another strategy that can facilitate self-compassion in the midst of social anxiety. In general, research has shown that role plays that allow us to practice responding to our negative beliefs as someone observing our social performance are particularly effective at improving self-compassion. This process of assuming the role of observer helps us see ourselves more accurately, as well as counteract thoughts about the negative perceptions of others. Compassion during these role plays can be achieved by responding to fears of confirming stereotypes in a kind and understanding way that validates your experiences as a member of your social group.
Conclusion
Social anxiety due to worry about confirming stereotypes can be deeply painful. The strategies above are just some of the techniques you can use to manage the social anxiety you may experience due to stereotype-confirming concerns. If you need treatment for social anxiety, visit NSAC Regional Clinics and Partners or in the ADAA Find Your Therapist directory to find a licensed professional who can see you in your area.
A special thanks to the National Social Anxiety Center (NSAC) for contributing this blog to the ADAA community as part of our ongoing collaboration.
