Keep in mind: this is a preview of Bipolar rules! This rule is part of the Rules of Emotion section. It is a draft. This is not the final version.
One of the things you can do when it is depressed (or even not depressed) is to insult yourself. The insults that I have said to myself have been incredibly hard and things that I would never say to anyone else. Although it is possible to know that it is depression to speak, and although it can know that it is negative and harmful, sometimes people simply cannot stop insulting themselves. Worse, insulting himself could lead to more insults, as in, «I am an idiot to insult me. I know I shouldn’t do that.» It is a vicious circle.
While people often do not realize, insulting is quite normal. It occurs more frequently for people with certain characteristics, such as low self -esteem; However, everyone does it from time to time.
For example, have you ever made a mistake, maybe in front of someone you really respect yourself, and said to yourself: «I can’t believe that I said. I am so stupid»?
Or maybe they have rejected you for two dates in a week and thought for yourself: «I’m so ugly. Nobody will ever love me.»
You could have been in any situation and No He insulted, but if he were having a day of inactivity or maybe he felt a bit sensitive, insulting himself, it could be how he reacted.
This type of thought process may be happening for many reasons. You may be depressed and you feel very negative. You may have low self -esteem and really create the insults you are throwing. It can be close to people who insult you, so insults feel normal. Or could have a series of other reasons; Many things lead to insult.
I have insulted myself as part of hitting me due to depression in my brain, a very bad habit, no doubt. Hitting you generally consists of a larger cycle of many insults, some without reason and others for a perceived reason. Hitting is insulting again and again.
And perhaps what is worse, insulting yourself often leads to negative judgments of you and your life.
For example,
- «You are such a silly bitch; it is not surprising that no one likes you.»
- «That mistake shows that you are a fucking. You don’t deserve to live.»
- «You are so ugly. Just go die, stupid, fat and not friendly.»
Does that sound hard? Well, that’s the point. The voice of depression, the voice that insults you continuously, is a very hard lover, in fact. And because depression lives in your brain, knows what will harm you the most. Use that information to form the worst insults. That is why insulting feels so painful: it is personal and effective.
If you are going through this type of self -insult spiral, you are likely to be very unhappy, having difficulty committing to others and being quiet and insecure of yourself. The type of serious and devastating insults that depression throws affects a person at all levels.
Fighting the insults
Fighting the insults that your brain is launching you is reduced to two things: the first of which is internal dialogue.
Try to do these things when you insult:
- Challenge insults and negative judgments. Do it out loud. Write them and look at them. Take a step back and logically evaluate how realistic they are. Most likely, things are flying out of proportion and jumping to conclusions that are not justified. See writings and use logic can show that.
- Remember yourself that it is depression speaking. Depression hates you. Depression probably want you to die. That voice is not your friend, and she is not telling you the truth.
- Rethink the insults. Insults are usually unrealistic points of view of what is happening. For example, if you make an error at work, you can insult yourself for that, but you never think about 99% of the time when you are not making mistakes. Insultation about the way you are wrong in front of a superior, you could tell yourself: «I made a mistake today. I will not make that mistake tomorrow.» That allows him to recognize what really happened, but not use it as an insult.
- Act as your own friend. Remember that you would never talk to another person in the way you are talking to yourself. It is not reasonable to apply a double standard for you. If I didn’t tell another person who cares, you shouldn’t tell yourself.
- Do not accept verbal abuse. Insults such as the guy I mentioned above are a form of verbal abuse. Certainly, if you throw them to another person, that would be clear. Even if you feel that you cannot be your own friend, you can still remind you that, as a human being, you deserve to be treated with respect and verbal abuse.
- Date compliments. Instead of focusing on your perceived failures, or even in addition to focusing on your perceived failures if you cannot stop, also force to recognize all the things you do well and all things that are good about you. For example, maybe you said something uncomfortable in an appointment, but maybe you shrugged. That is lovely, and it is good to concentrate on the good part instead of the bad. It’s okay to say: «I have a good sense of humor.»
The second part of fighting insults in your brain is to obtain professional help. Part of that help can be psychotherapy. Sometimes, our internal insults are so entrenched that we need a professional to help us eliminate them from our psyche. Some of us have insulted ourselves about certain things since childhood. It is not reasonable to think that you can deal with those insults yourself. He needs a professional to teach him new techniques and help him practice them again and again until they become habits. They can also help you deal with the underlying problems that drive those insults. Do not be ashamed to communicate with these professionals whose work is to help you with such difficulties.
Professional help can also include medical help. New changes of medications or medications can be justified to address the underlying problems to all those insults. As I said, these insults can be driven by depression (or other mental illness), and it may not be until you get that depression (or other disease) under control that they are suffocated. That is why it is important to be honest with all medical professionals about what is causing their anguish, even if you think you are not specifically in your domain. You would be surprised what professionals from all stripes listen to and what the treatment can address.
And, of course, many people need medical help and psychotherapy to calm their insulting internal monologue. If this is you, it is fine. I’ve been there, and I also have many others. It used to be that one day, or even an hour, it would not happen without me insulting how I see myself, and although I still have problems in this area, it is not as bad as it used to be. Now I can look in the mirror and see more than total ugliness.
I know how exhausting it is to try to fight a flood of insults, particularly when they are almost constant. That said, it is also exhausting to be the constant victim of abuse. If you can suffocate the diatribe of insults, even a little, you can recover some brain space to do other things. It is worth trying not to let the insults be the strongest noise in your head.
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