The «smiling depression» is something I can identify, as well as «high functioning depression.» Nor are technical terms, but both describe how I have lived years of my life. Yes, I have spent years depressed, but I have also spent years of my life hiding that fact of 99% of the people with whom I interact. Certainly, I’m not the only one. Other people walk at work, at home and with friends, with a smile painted on their face, working in a way that «passes» with others too. But although I can smile, like, all the time, smile really makes me want to cry.
What is smiling depression? Hide pain behind a smile
Smiling depression is hidden depression in sight. The person with smiling depression covers how they feel «socially appropriate» and a smile. They do not act as they really feel.
Many people smile to hide what they are feeling, but I think this is more common in women because we are taught to «smile», «get along» and «be friendly» all the time. When a man does not smile, he is fine, but when a woman does not smile, he is «bad.»
However, that does not mean that men cannot have smiling depression too. After all, few things hide endless pain and suffer like a smile. Few people ask a smiling person if there is something wrong. It is a way to get out of the questions you don’t want to answer.
But it is not wrong about it: smiling depression is as horrible as any other type of depression. I would say Robin Williams demonstrated that point pretty good.
High functioning depression: when you seem good but you are not
High functioning depression is similar and sometimes considered synonym. High functioning depression is only a depression where a person does not participate in typical depressed behaviors (at least around others), such as crying and staying in bed. Instead, they exhibit operation that looks like everyone else.
I used to work full for a very large and elegant technology company. There was no other option there than working very well. People were evidently intelligent, the work was evidently hard and I swear that people stabbed you on your back if I thought it would give them a better review in September. And I worked in that environment for years despite depression.
However, one thing I will say is that as soon as I left that environment and I got home, I barely moved from the couch. I did nothing. I took every ounce of my way to my way through work, and I spent the rest of my life by rebuilding my reservations to do it again.
It was not a way of living, but it was the only way I knew how to live. I smiled through depression just as I worked through depression because I had no choice.
Why smile through depression can make it worse
However, if I think of smiling depression, it makes me want to cry. And stretching a smile on my face makes me want to cry. I suppose it is the falsehood of everything. I guess it’s the required effort. I guess it’s the dissonance between how I see myself and how I feel. Those things are horrible. If I didn’t feel terrible enough before, thinking about those things will surely make me feel worse.
Why people hide depression with a smile
As much as smiling depression is convenient for those who suffer from depression, it is also convenient for those around them. Yes, we also smile for you. Yes, we also work very well for you. You don’t want to look at a depressed person. You don’t want to work with someone who has trouble operating. You don’t want to deal with a constantly depressed person. I understand this. This is what forces people to smile and pretend to work regardless of how they feel. It is not just pressure from the inside; It is also pressure from outside.
However, living as this has a toll. It is incredibly difficult to pretend to smile and work all the time, no matter why we choose to do it.
Why it is fine to stop hiding your depression
I will not judge people with smiling depression or high functioning depression, as I said, I have been those things (I’m still somehow). However, I will say that hiding how you feel all the time is frankly harmful. It is possible that he can hide his feelings today, but I promise him that a day will come when his feelings explode, and that day will be very unpleasant. It can lead to breakdown, hospitalization or worse.
So, if you smile and work through depression, it’s fine, but make sure you don’t prevent you from looking for help and support. You need people with whom you can be real, no matter what really real.
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