I Needed Help to Recover from My Eating Disorder

As is told Marnie Goodfriend.

February 24 – March 3, 2025 is National Awareness Week of Eating Disorders.

I remember the first time it happened: my first bulimic episode. I was in Cabo Cabo during the summer, working for a legal organization after finishing my first year of Law Faculty. I didn’t think much about that. The binge and purge only occurred occasionally, so it was easy to enclose this dysfunction in a box, similar to the way I handled growing in an unpredictable house that was cheerful but also full of struggle, screams and sadness.

After leaving home at age 22, my life became more peaceful, but I always expected a monster to appear around the corner. A year later, I did not know how to work without the chaos to which I was used to, so my mind recreated it differently. I had not yet realized the deep impact that my family dysfunction had had on me. And, being in the Law School, I also found myself in an atmosphere where people constantly judged themselves and others. I was an superported that pushed my emotions, so there were years of accumulated trauma inside me. The binge and purge were somehow self -gilled and a release of all these stressful factors.

I also started obsessing how I looked and criticized my body constantly. I thought the world would end if I ate a small chocolate almond bag. How could I allow me to do that? I have ruined beyond all recognition. That was my pattern of thought. The voice inside my head was so negative and critical. I never liked what I saw in the mirror. Even when I was not extinguishing and purging, I always had thoughts present to restrict and hyperfixation in my body.

My eating disorder was a shameful thing that kept hidden from the world. From the outside, my life seemed very argued, which made it difficult to admit what was really happening. As an consummated, intelligent and successful woman, I thought: “I have this. I can solve this problem on my own. »

That is the challenge of having an invisible disorder, nobody knows. I kept hitting myself and wondered why Bulimia had a strangulator about me. And, after each episode, I experienced episodes of depression.

When I looked online a way to «solve» bulimia, everything aimed to get help. But for years, I couldn’t do it to do it. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

It was easy to convince myself that I could deal with this problem on my own because I was for long periods of time without passing and purging. Then, the pandemic coup and the world silenced. My episodes began to happen more frequently, and I had more time to step back and think about my life. It was then that I finally connected to my first therapist. They asked me to write a list of things that I told myself when I looked in the mirror. It was a painful experience that I will never forget.

At this time, my friends and family knew about my disorder, but I minimed it and told them I was under control. My parents even had an intervention, but I told them that I was receiving the help I needed, so they left her alone. After only six sessions with my first therapist, my symptoms stopped. I quickly thought I was cured and my eating disorder was behind me. Now I know that we had only scratched the surface of the work that should be done. I continued to see several other therapists for short periods of time.

Then, I got into a new relationship that promoted my false belief that I was «cured.» My symptoms occurred only when I was out. We were two broken people who clung, so I felt that I had support, but it was a curita especially this other pain for which I had not yet worked. Now I know that this person was never healthy, but I found a short -term relief to be with him.

Our painful break was a great turning point for me. I found a therapist who also had an eating disorder and experience with bulimia. I felt seen and not judged by her. She would come to my house and sit on my sofa, creating the security layer I needed to open. I learned to disconnect from negative thought patterns around food. Unlike sobriety for alcohol or substances, you still have to commit to food, which requires constant awareness and catch your problematic thoughts before they take care. The therapist’s nutrition focused on the nutrition revitalized my love for the kitchen. I became creative in the kitchen and enjoyed preparing meals for me and for others again. She also connected to me with a encouragement practitioner, and those sessions allowed me to change my mentality and release the past traumas.

I feel immensely grateful for where I am today, since there were many times when I never thought I would get to a place where I have a healthy relationship with food. As part of my healing trip, I started working with the National Association of Eating Disorders To help others experience what I did. As a member of the Board, support your mission of changing the way in which they are recognized, understanding and treating eating disorders, so those affected can achieve lasting recovery and well -being.

I think there is a reason for everything. For me, my eating disorder led me to the deep work of the soul, greater self -understanding, compassion, a prosperous relationship with myself and my family, and the opportunity to make a difference in the world. There is always a way to follow, starting by letting others who see and support him.

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Our real women, real stories are the authentic experiences of real life women. The opinions, opinions and experiences shared in these stories are not backed by healthy women and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or the position of healthy women.