How Travel Helped Me Challenge My Internalized Ableism

«You need to treat my brother as a person.»

I remember that my little sister shouted a security guard as if it were yesterday. Our family was visiting a castle in Ireland dating from the 1400s, and it is not necessary to say that accessibility was less than ideal. My sister’s scream was the last thing I heard when my parents took me up, moments after they told me expressly.

Having CP and being blessed to be part of a family that can travel around the world means that it quickly learns that the Middle Ages was not the maximum accessibility point. When my sister was at university, we were all used to breaking the rules and climbing some forbidden stairs.

In my mind, that scene seemed some of the three puppets. However, my sister’s warning spoiled the fun. And I think I’m finally beginning to understand why.

As a nerd in history, there is something strangely spiritual about exploring a new city and being in places where the main historical events occurred. In addition, as you have probably guessed for now, I have never been good to break the rules for myself. Consequently, when that security guard told us that we could not see more than the entrance to the castle, I was happy to say: «That is fine, Lord, I can at least see something.»

The internalized capture attacks again. What is worse, I got angry with my sister because I thought she caused a scene. Imagine the strange mixture of gratitude, joy and contrition that I felt after escaping up to discover that the second floor was the great castle room, and was adorned with portraits of King Carlos II of England and his many lovers. My fellow nerds who are fans of the historian and television presenter Lucy Worsley in PBS will know exactly who I am talking about.

Looking back, I’m still a little ashamed that my impulse was to rebuke my sister instead of thanking her. I think that what really bothered me was that she articulated so clearly and concisely what it was, and did it years before I realized that it was one of the main forces that shapes my life. So, thanks Sondra. You understood me well before I understood myself.

I am 34 years old and I really did not make disabled friends or understood anything about my own disabled identity until the age of 28. I did not start traveling with my disabled friends until about a year ago. For many years, I always waited for my family’s annual trip to Europe. My favorite holiday places include churches, palaces and opera houses. Europe has all three.

Unfortunately, that security guard capable in Ireland was only part of a long line of clashes capable of family trips that has included everything, from dealing with hotels that have small or non -existent elevators until they are assigned to the corner table in a restaurant and not have access to a Mediterranean view. The most annoying thing about all this is that I followed it because I was used to it and I didn’t know anything better.

A trip to Philadelphia for my sister’s graduation became another revealing experience with Saturday. That weekend began with a happy hour for students and their families. Naturally, the bar was not accessible. So, dad and I happily sneak out to be nerds and tours of independence. There was, however, a small problem. I could only see half of the tour because there was no way to reach the second floor. It was discordant to realize that the cradle of American democracy was not totally accessible.

My first international trip with another person who is disabled helped me see these experiences with the capable and inaccessibility for what they are. Victor and I met through a support group for CP for adults and quickly joined our fondness for Dante’s jokes Hell. What can I say? The rare are. We had been talking about making a trip for a long time, so last July we became two gimpets «traveling abroad» and we went to London.

I could surely say that none of us were prepared for how the change of life of this trip would be like. Two outstanding accessibility stood out. First, each taxi has a ramp, and also, drivers know how to operate them. I know that the accessible vehicle that drives must be a baseline. Trust me, it is not. Second, the ramps are clearly visible at the front of the buildings. There was no need to enter restaurants through the kitchen.

Even Buckingham Palace had a prominent ramp at the entrance of the main visitor. And wheelchair users were transported by the patio in golf carts accessible to wheelchairs. Listen, I know that accessibility in England is probably far from being perfect, but that week Victor and I feel seen in a way that we have not returned home in the United States.

For both of them, accessibility in London seemed more prominent and easier to navigate. Judy Heumann once told a journalist that she was tired of being grateful for accessible baths. That is what Victor and I loved London: it was a rare experience in which we did not have to worry about the accessible ramps or bathrooms. Our basic needs were met, and we could vacation together as friends do. Ideally, this would not be so revolutionary, but it is.

My trips in London showed me that inaccessibility does not have to be the norm, and that I have so much right to enjoy historical sites as any other person. It is an experience that I will remember every time I have to walk down the steps to enter a restaurant or a security guard tells me that I cannot explore a castle.