Boo! Hahaha, I had fun looking at my CT scan images and took this screenshot because it looked pretty creepy (those eyeballs!).
I realize how unpleasant it was to post about my biopsy and then take two weeks to share the results! It felt like the results took forever. Since the biopsy was on Friday, I expected the results to be available on Monday; Tuesday at the latest. Labs and tests are typically uploaded to my online record in approximately 24 hours.
On Wednesday he still did not have the results. I called the ENT doctor who had ordered the biopsy and he told me that the doctor wanted to review them in person. And I was going to be off for a week, so the earliest appointment available would be the 22nd! Hearing that, of course, I prepared myself for bad news.
Meanwhile, he had been jumping through hoops to get an appointment at the University of Michigan Medical Center, which is very difficult to access; It is a huge university hospital. (The scheduling woman I spoke to even had my biopsy results, but she wasn’t allowed to give them to me.) I asked my primary care doctor to fax me my referrals and records (I was surprised people still fax things…) and he did it right away. Then I had to wait for the scheduler to call me to set up the appointment with the ENT (ENT; «ear/nose/throat») department. I finally got an appointment for the 24th (yesterday).
I was still waiting for the test results and couldn’t wait any longer. I don’t know why I didn’t ask in the first place, but I contacted my primary care doctor again and asked if he had the results and if I could upload them. Within an hour, they were in my file. (My doctor is the BEST at doing everything quickly).
Anyway, the result was that my mass is benign! Which is obviously great news. Still, this mass causes me a lot of discomfort, especially after the biopsy. The biopsy made my symptoms much worse and I have been super irritable. I constantly feel like my shirt is suffocating me, but when I reach out to remove the collar, it’s not there, it’s just this mass that causes the feeling of strangulation.
The CT scan I had in the ER on the day of my biopsy showed that the mass had grown by about a centimeter (it was about 5.5 and is now about 6.5 cm – that’s *very* big). Since I had the appointment at the U of M, I had access to their patient portal. My CT scan was there and I was totally fascinated looking at the images. It’s like watching a video that travels through your body, looking at one plane at a time, and there are images from various directions: traveling from the front of my face to the back of my head, and from each side traveling to the other . side, and even starting in my lungs, going up to the top of my head. You can see everything in 3D.)
According to the doctor’s notes and the images, it showed that my trachea and esophagus were being pushed to one side due to the mass pressing on them; This is why I have difficulty swallowing and what is causing the choking sensation. It’s pushing my carotid artery into my back. It even touches my spine and goes down past my collarbone (clavicle). Needless to say, it is very big. I knew I would have to get out, but I was hoping I could save my right thyroid to *try* to avoid needing hormone replacement drugs for the rest of my life.
*I may still need it, it will depend on my thyroid function after surgery*
Here’s a picture showing from front to back: The red line is my airway, which should be straight up and down. And the blue surrounds the mass itself.
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| CT scan of thyroid mass, circled in blue |
My appointment yesterday at the U of M did not start well. I know most people will think this is superficial, but I’ve written before about how difficult it is for me to show signs of aging. You may remember when, in 2018 (?), Jerry and I went to the lab to have his blood drawn and I was with him. I sat in the waiting room and he went up to the counter to register. The woman there saw his license/birthdate and exclaimed how young he looked and said these words that still haunt me: «I thought that was your mother with you.» !»
Until that moment, I never thought I looked old. But that triggered something inside me that made me notice everything in me that shows signs of aging. Do I really look like I could be over 60? Even if Jerry looked MUCH younger, say 30 (he’s 44), that would mean I would have to look about 50 (I turned 43 today). At that moment I began to feel extremely self-conscious about my age, although before I had never cared at all. Isn’t it stupid that a single comment from someone has the power to do that? Most people would probably laugh at it, but it had the opposite effect on me.
Anyway, back to my quote from yesterday. The medical assistant brought us back to weigh me and take my blood pressure. He asked me: «Is this your son with you?»
My face became very hot and my ears immediately started ringing. She was so nervous she couldn’t even respond to him, and Jerry, knowing she was devastated, helped ease the awkwardness she was feeling by making a joke about the fountain of youth or something. The medical assistant asked about my birthday and when I told him, he said, «Happy early birthday!» I said, in what I hoped would sound nonchalant, «Thank you, but I suddenly feel very old.» I kind of wanted to hint to him that instead of asking if he was my son, he should just ask who is with me today or something like that.
I thought he would apologize, but he didn’t notice. I remember being (relatively) young and never understanding why age was such a sensitive topic for women. When I worked at Curves in my 20s, most of the women were between 40 and 60 and talked frequently about aging; I just didn’t understand it. I never thought I’d care about getting older! And honestly, I wouldn’t care if he thought I looked my age (43), but 60+?! That’s hard to swallow. (Literally right now, haha). When only one person mentioned it, it could be dismissed as a one-off and unintentionally rude comment; but when two people say it, well…
Okay, enough of that. I was pleasantly surprised by the minimal wait time, which was amazing. My cousin, who is a nurse practitioner there, highly recommended the ENT doctor and he was everything I expected. She was extremely kind and patient, taking the time to answer my questions and explaining everything very well. An anesthesiology medical student was with her and he was just as cool.
They had to examine my throat, which was not fun (at the previous ENT doctor’s office, they did that too). They put a long, thin, flexible tube with a camera on one end, through my nose and down my throat to look at my vocal cords. It literally feels like a COVID test, just like pushing the swab all the way in to stab the brain. Then I felt like I had a pill stuck in my throat. But my vocal cords are not damaged; The change in my voice is likely because the mass in my thyroid is pushing my trachea (airway) to one side. (My voice has become a little hoarse and I find it difficult to speak.)
They agreed that I should remove the mass and the doctor explained the surgery to me. It’s under general anesthesia, which is more complicated than the IV sedation I recently received for my tooth extraction, but I’ve been under anesthesia three times before (for my two jaw repair surgeries and for my skin removal surgery). , so I’m not too worried about that. The scariest part is that they are going to be working on a very critical area of my body (around the airway, esophagus, carotid arteries, jugular veins, and vocal cords), and that comes with risks. But the otolaryngologist is the one who will perform the surgery and I have a lot of confidence in her.
When I was very nervous about general anesthesia before having my jaw repaired, my surgeon (who was an ENT) told me this: If you are worried about your airway during surgery, the best team to have with you is an ENT. equipment. That’s comforting! Ha ha.
The surgery seems very simple and they will allow me to leave the same day (he said three hours or so). For a week after the operation, I need to rest, not lift anything more than 10 pounds, eat soft foods for a couple of days and that’s it. There are many follow-up lab tests to see if my thyroid hormones are building up. They are completely normal at this point, so I hope my right thyroid works well when the left one goes away. The otolaryngologist said it occurs in about half of the patients with this procedure.
Now I just have to wait for a call from the scheduler to set the surgery date. The doctor said that since it’s not cancer I don’t have to do it right now, only when it suits me, but I’m going to take the first available date. My symptoms are driving me crazy, especially since my biopsy.
Ha ha! Speaking of which, after my biopsy I was told that «I might have a small bruise that should go away on its own in a couple of days.» It’s been 15 days and this is what it looks like:
Aside from the bruising, the lump is very noticeable on my neck. It wasn’t like that before the biopsy. This dough grew SO fast. I noticed sometime during the summer (I think August) that my neck seemed a little bigger in the front. I forgot about it when I got COVID, and then the headache that lasted two months and the process that led to my tooth extraction.
In December it was barely noticeable, but now there’s no way you’ll miss it. I am worried that it will continue to grow at this rate. I’m delighted it’s not cancer, although I knew I’d have surgery anyway, but it’s so uncomfortable I can’t wait for it to go away.
